DEAR ABBY: For 17 years I have been using the same hairstylist, “Marietta,” because she does great cuts and color. She’s married to my cousin “Gil,” but not for long. They’re divorcing.
Gil’s mother suggested I should find a different stylist, but when I did, I had horrible results. I returned to Marietta and it took her several appointments to correct my color.
Some family members are now furious with me for getting my hair done by someone who is soon to be a relative’s ex. I look at it as a business. I like what Marietta does for me. We never discuss the divorce. Family is now demanding an apology, and I don’t think I owe one. I haven’t been close to any of these people in years.
Must I say I’m sorry to distant family and discontinue Marietta’s services? Or should I say nothing and continue my professional relationship with her? My roots are beginning to show again, so please answer quickly. — SNIPPED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR SNIPPED: Tell Gil’s mother to stay out of your hair. You tried leaving Marietta; it was a disaster — and you plan on using her until the day you curl up and dye.
DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of three grown children. I have a good marriage, a successful career and a close relationship with my two younger children.
My problem involves my oldest daughter. She has been emotionally unstable and verbally abusive to me since her 20s. I have reached my limit of patience with her. We had a terrible fight three weeks ago, and she hasn’t spoken to me since.
Abby, these have been the most peaceful weeks I have had in a long time. Am I a terrible mother? Is there such a thing as separating from a child? I am tired of always being the peacemaker with no effort on her part. What do you suggest? — PEACEMAKER IN KENTUCKY
DEAR PEACEMAKER: Refusing to be abused by an adult child does not make you a terrible parent. I don’t know what caused the fight between you and your daughter. If you caused it, then you owe it to both of you to offer an apology. If she caused it, then…